Being accused of or recognising that you are or have previously displayed inappropriate or abusive behaviour can be particularly distressing. It is important to be aware that the University will not make assumptions and all parties involved in a complaint will be treated fairly and offered the same access to advice and support.
Each situation is unique, and it is important to stop and consider why you are behaving in the way that you are and think about how your behaviour may be affecting other people. Even if you’re behaviour was not meant to harm, your behaviour may have hurt or offended someone else. This is an opportunity for change, to learn about your behaviour and why it is not okay and take steps in order to change for the better.
Whilst you may not recognise your behaviour as being inappropriate or abusive, it is important to listen to the complaint and allow the other person to express their feelings and concerns. Someone may feel harassed by something you do or say, regardless of whether you intended it to be offensive or inappropriate. Just because you didn’t mean to harass someone, it doesn’t mean that that they haven’t been or felt harassed.
You should work to stop the behaviour in question straight away. You can access university support services to help with this; having an outsider perspective often makes recognising and changing these behaviours easier.
Respect have published a number of factsheets aimed to tackle violent and abusive behaviour by providing advice on how to manage emotions and abusive behaviours. They also have self-help guides available for abusive partners. These resources can be found here: https://respectphoneline.org.uk/resources/resources-for-perpetrators/.
Heriot-Watt University is proud to be Scotland’s first White Ribbon University, working to prevent men’s violence against women and girls by addressing harmful and dominant masculine norms. If you’d like to learn more about this, you can contact the Student Wellbeing Services.
University support services
- Report + Support allows students and staff to report incidents either anonymously or with contact details for follow-up. The service also provides information on a range of different incidents, along with both internal and external support services.
- Student Wellbeing Services can provide information and advice to help support students for a number of issues and direct them to more specialist support services. They also have a counselling service which provides one-to-one, confidential support for students, in the form of short-term counselling or referral to specialised support services.
- The Advice Hub offer free, impartial and confidential advice to students about a range of issues, including mental health and wellbeing.
- Respect Ambassadors are staff members who can provide confidential guidance and support to staff who have witnessed or experienced inappropriate behaviour or are having a difficult time.
- Care First is a health package for staff, which offers support for a range of practical and emotional issues, as well as one-to-one counselling sessions.